Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Funerals...I hate them

I have to go to a funeral today. My grandmother’s sister (my great aunt) died on Monday after a long battle with lung cancer. My grandmother has a big family and my aunt was only a couple years older than my mom, and the two of them were really good friends. Its weird to think that my grandmothers younger sister died. It really makes me realize that as the oldest sister she won’t be around forever. I hate funerals. I really hate family funerals. You see all your cousins that you maybe see once every two years. It feels like they are really more acquaintances than family. This is sad to me, but at the same time it feels “real”. I don’t really know how to explain that, but to quote my favorite phrase of late….”It is, what it is.” We don’t dislike each other; we just don’t seem to desire relationships with each other. No common ground in life other than blood. Speaking of blood, I am getting ready to go meet my sister so that we can ride over together. I pray that I can in some way reflect Christ to those there. I am known in the family as a Christian, but they avoid the subject. I probably just avoid them, rather than confront as well. I pray that this will change. Its funny, I am listening to a random mix in iTunes and the song Instrument of Peace just came on. The lyrics that stick out:

Make me an instrument of peace

Make me a vessel of your love

Make me a minister of reconciliation in this world

Make a picture of your grace

Make me a portrait of your face

Make me a minister of reconciliation in this world

It seems that the lyrics are challenging me as I write this blog. Lord let this be my prayer.

So with that I will bog later. Have some good times planned later with some people at my favorite coffee hang out.

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